Reflecting on 2011, Hopes for 2012

Yes, it's been a while since I posted a blog.  So much has been going on.  Some great, some not so great.  I've had it on my heart to write this blog for a couple of weeks or so now.  So, here goes.....

2011:  What a year!! It has been full of so many highs and lows.  Amazing things happened this year, but we went through a lot of hard times as well.  I won't go into every single high or low, just parts that stick out for me more than others.  In January, I started planning for my first ever mission trip to Uganda.  The day after I reserved my flight, I fell down some stairs and terribly injured my right ankle/leg.  I still have a hematoma on my leg after almost a year.  In February, we officially incorporated Love Feeds.  In March, 2 big things happened, Michael started college online and Jonathan turned 10!!! I will admit, I struggled at times to cope with Michael having so much school work and working at his job.  He works so hard to make good grades (he has a 4.0 GPA!) and he works hard to provide for our family.  I truely appretiate all he does, even if I don't say it as often as I should.  In April, we celebrated our 3rd anniversary! <3  Who would've thought someone would put up with me for that long! (HAHA! ok, shut up, don't answer that! LOL)  In May, Jonathan graduated from 4th grade and received a "Good Citizenship" Award.  That was for being a stand out person in his class, helping others, etc.  That made me SO PROUD of him!!  Above any other awards he could've gotten, that is my favorite!! So, June came along and it was time for my trip to Uganda!!  I was so excited, yet scared at the same time.  I'd never been away from Michael more than one night our whole marriage.  I had been away from Jon a week every year since he was 6 when he's been to camp but that was never more than 4 hours away.  The day before I left, our missions pastor and another missions worker prayed over me.  Their amazing prayer over me is most likely something I will NEVER forget!!  The trip to Uganda was life changing.  (You can read more about the trip on the Love Feeds Blog.)  While I was on the trip, one of the people helping out with Jon didn't come through.  So, Michael had to miss some days at work.  This caused a financial struggle for us and his employers weren't too thrilled about it either.  Michael started having a lot of issues at his workplace that I won't get into.  He was just working during the day because of his seminar schedule for school.  Working just day shift had cut our income almost in half working there.  On to August.  On August 1st my sister, Jessica, and her 2 boys moved to Nashville!!  Jonathan started 5th grade!! Here, that's the first year of middle school!!  He tried out for band and started playing the clarinet! They tested him and he has a high natural ability for music!  Of course, this moma is passionate about music and has a natural ability as well.  So, I saw it in him long ago!  Also in August, my friend, Sarah, from New Jersey moved here!  Sarah has become an awesome friend and a part of our family! I am so thankful for her friendship.  She also has a nonprofit, Project 117.  In September, I turned 31, edging to 40 now! LOL! Michael turned 41, so he's edging to 50! LOL! ;)  (love ya babe!)  September brings us back to Michael's job situation.  He decided to look for another job and he was given one.  We thought this new place was going to work out awesome, it didn't!!  His employers did not keep their word about many things.  When he expressed his feelings about it, they let hime go 6 weeks into the job.  So, that means October has rolled around.  He started a new job a week later.  More on that new job in a little while.  October 19-21:  Sarah, Jon, and myself went to visit my hometown of Alexander City, AL.  During this time we visted with friends and family.  What stands out to me was the last time I saw my Paw Paw West alive.  When we visited with paw paw and granny, I could tell he wasn't doing very well.  He was alert and was sitting up talking to us.  I hadn't seen them since December 2010 because finances just wouldn't allow us to travel down.  During our visit I shared pictures from my trip to Uganda.  While I was showing him my pictures he kept saying "You gotta help them.  You gotta help them!".  That will always stick out in my mind.  Also, he said many times during our visit how much he loved us.  Paw Paw was 92 years old and he was never a man for a lot of words or mushy stuff, so this was very special to me.  Over the last few years as his health was deteriorating I always made sure to tell him I loved him and hugged him.  He would always respond back with I love you.  Two days after our visit I got a phone call that he wasn't expected to make it through the weekend. He did make it through that weekend.  That brings us to November.  My paw paw passed away on November 13th.  It hurt so much to lose him, BUT I know he's in heaven with Jesus!!  We miss him greatly but wouldn't bring him back to the pain and hurting in this world. At his funeral someone sang a song that said " Dont cry for me, I'm already home!!".  That says it all!! <3 Also in November, of course, was Thanksgiving!  We had a great Thanksgiving meal here at our home with Sarah, my sister and her 2 boys, and 2 friends of my sister's.  It was a very good time.  Back to this new job of Michael's for December!  He was making very little at this new place.  He was cooking and not getting many hours.  It was a hostile work environment.  A special person helped us with gifts for Jonathan's Christmas due to our finances.  In December, Jonathan went on his first plane ride!! He was scared of flying but he so desperately wants to go to Uganda with me.  So, he and Sarah went on a one day trip to Panama City Beach, FL.  Turns out, He LOVES flying!! Also, our friends Christie and George Magera, and Stormy Bishop spent a night with us during a road trip to spread the word about Ekubo Ministries.  For those of you who may not know, Christie and George are missionaries in the village I visited in Uganda. Sarah came over to hang out with them as well.  Fun was had by all!! <3..... Four days before Christmas, Michael was fired for standing up for himself against a violent boss.  We've been having peace through it all.  The kind of peace that only comes from Jesus!  Instead of us going to AL for Christmas this year, my parents and Granny West came up here!  We were all so excited about that!! As far as I know my granny hasn't been out of AL my entire life!!!  My paw paw was someone who liked to be in his own bed at night.  Jonathan had a blessed Christmas!! He has done so much to help children in need this year.  I feel like he was blessed greatly in return for his giving heart!!  We enjoyed time with friends and family.  We are blessed!! 

Hopes for 2012:  This coming new year brings with it a lot of NEW things!! Michael is transferring to Liberty University online and I will start Liberty online!! I will be starting my Bachelors of Religion with a minor in Intercultural Studies (meaning internationally!!)!! I don't know all the plans God has for that, but I know that He has better plans than any I can think of without Him!!  Michael will start a new job on Jan 3rd.  Hoping that this job works out better financially for us, as well as a better work environment for him.  For 2 months i've already started prayerfully brainstorming for the next trip to Uganda for Summer 2012, including Jon!  There are many things that will be happening for Love Feeds as well.  I will be posting a blog about all of that on the Love Feeds Blog soon.  If not today, in the next few days. 

I leave you with a verse of Hope!  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Prayers for a Blessed New Year!!

With love,
Audrea  (Michael and Jon, too!)

remembering 9/11

September 11, 2011

Remember how you tried to restore relationships, build stronger ties, put your affairs in order, get your life centered on what really matters, let trivial matters and resentments be, not taking a single day for granted, wanting to cherish every moment with everyone around us? Don't let the urging in your hearts, the voice that spoke to you ever become silent, Remember again!

Looking back

Taking a trip down memory lane I think about where I was at that time. I was trying to recover from all the previous tragedies in my life and daily I was using some kind of drug to numb me from the memories of my past that haunted me. I was in darkness, believing I was cursed, just trying to make it through each day. I had gotten myself into a situation by all the bent up anger at the life of molestation, rape, physical violence, and rejection I had endured. Someone I knew was exhibiting pedophile tendencies and actions. Me a group of young kids he had tried to exploit decided to take revenge. I wanted to beat him to a pulp but we chose a path of vandalism instead and mischief. This wasn’t my first time at revenge I was accustomed to it. It was the main emotion I saw since childhood. My family is infected with resentment and revenge. I love them all and they know who they are, I need not mention their names and I was one as well.

I was in a real bad place financially though I worked 60+ hours a week. It becomes expensive trying to restart after you’ve lost everything you own. I had been tossed so to and fro in life that I had lost everything I owned about half a dozen times by then. I was being exploited by someone at this time as well. You see, the only thing that stopped me at that time from purchasing the world to give to someone if they’d only love me was money.

It meant nothing to me and I gave it away freely and generously to any cause because I just desired to be loved.

My eyes were opened to how short mans life is. I wanted to go to any length to get my relationship with my family restored. I would forgive. Would they be willing to forgive me? I would just make myself available.

Remember, I thought I was cursed. I wasn’t sure that I wasn’t going straight to hell when I died or not. I believed God didn’t want me. I began attending church again. I had completely abandoned the idea of being Catholic because I have some difficulties with some practices that seem to border on idol worship to me. I also before I ever knew God really loved me, believed the Bible was the breath of God. Most of my family will disagree with me on this.

 I believed God did what he did for his elect since the beginning of time and I just wasn’t someone anyone loved much less God. I knew he was there. He showed himself to me in many different ways at different times. His presence always comforted me. Yet I had been through so much I didn’t believe I would ever know true safety. I slept with one eye open always ready for fight or flight. Yet 9/11 told me to let it go.  It was also scary for me because back in 1993 I had a vision of the twin towers burning while reading my Bible.

I was studying Biblical Prophesy at the time. I had a friend who was immersed in cultic behavior and Biblical History and he was trying to persuade me some new thoughts on Scripture that stumped him and likely drove him mad. I haven’t seen him since 99. It’s as if he is off the map technologically also.

Greg was studying demonology as well as witchcraft and areas of the Bible most Biblical Scholars leave alone.

My faith was not shaken on who God was or that the Bible was truth. However I was under severe Demonic attack during this time. In fact from my childhood I have been under a severe Demonic attack. They appeared in many forms, but I saw them at different times in my life. I also saw some of Gods soldiers too. I have believed since childhood that I was going to serve God. I zealously tried to prove my allegiance to God as a child but my sin kept me an outsider. Some would say the things that happened to me determined my fate and they did to a certain extent but each time I retaliated instead of turning the other cheek, each time I sought revenge in some devious way, every time I wished someone dead or said it, every time I wished myself dead, every thing I ever stole in my life, every lie I told, each time I gave into lust, it kept me an outsider.

I saw severed relationships with God and with family, and church. Today some things remain severed but I still have hope. I still thirst for God and time with him.  I try and involve God in my everyday tasks in worship listening to music and praising him always. Sometimes this becomes difficult and I still fall 100 times, but I get back up, and I keep on trying. God delivered me from addiction. He got me out of the darkness and despair; he delivered me from a life doomed for death and gave me a new purpose. It was on the day of 9/11 that I looked back up again and sought to see something beyond my current despair. I began to get ready for my end. What legacy would I leave? Could I really make a difference somehow? I must try. I must give it my all not to let my flame go out and die but seek the one who keeps it lit.

It doesn’t seem like 10 years. It is true time does just fly by the older you get.

Let us never forget the voice we heard in the tragedy!

 Michael Smith

12:29AM March 11,2001

My life changed forever at 12:29AM, March 11,2001!!  That is when my son, Jonathan, was born.  Jonathan means "Gift of God".  He truely is a gift of God!! I am so blessed to have him as my son.  Words could never express how thankful I am that God chose me to be Jonathan's mother. 
I mentioned in my first blog that one of the things I will blog about is my 7yrs as a single mom.  So, today I will give a glimpse into my life at that time.  I will do my best not to disrespect his biological father.  The past is the past and I have forgiven him.  I write this simple to help you all know about my life experiences.  My hope is to help someone else that may be in the same/similar situation.

Jonathan's father and I had a long distance relationship.  I got pregnant on one of my trips to visit him.  That was the last visit!  After terrible miscommunications from both of us, the relationship ended.  He was upset about me being pregnant.  He had fears and all kinds of emotions that lead him to make bad decisions.  I tried to keep open communication with him about what was going on w/my pregnancy even though I was heartbroken.  I didn't want to be a single mother.  I felt very condemned and that added to the pain I was feeling.  Jesus forgives, people condemn!  I never felt like my son was a mistake.  No child is born that God has not ordained to be born.  He makes ALL things work together for our good, even when we stray.  During my pregnancy things seemed to get a little better between the father and I.  At that point, I still had hopes of it all working out between us. 

During my pregnancy, my health was up and down.  I went into early labor at 33 weeks.  The doctor put me on bed rest.  Do you know how hard bed rest is for a single pregnant lady??  No?  Well it was very hard!!  My mom helped me out as much as possible.  All of this caused even more emotions for me.   To make matters worse, my maternal grandfather passed away a few days after I was put on bed rest!  Thankfully, I didn't go into labor again until I was at 38 weeks (2 wks early was ok!).  I was in labor for 24 1/2 hours.  Only 12 hours of that was w/o anything for pain.  My parents and sisters were there.  Other family member and friends would pop in.  Every time I would have a contraction and show any sign of pain, my mom would ask if I wanted her to hold my hand.  I told her no thanks, I'm okay.  The pain did hurt, but I was so determined to handle it myself!  I've always been so independent like that, but a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was in labor and the one who helped me get that way, wasn't there.  I ended up having a C-Section and Jonathan was born at 12:29AM.  My mom was in the operating room with me and I let her hold my hand then!  Plus, my hands were strapped so, it's not like I could stop her! HAHA! ;)  The doctor held Jon up for me to see him.  Then, my mom carried him to the nursery.  I had tears of joy!  Wow! That is my baby!! I'm a mommy!! What an amazing feeling!!  They took me took a room.  I had been awake and through so much in over 24 hrs, but I was not going to sleep yet!! I was not about to go to sleep until I could hold my baby and touch him, kiss him!!  Jonathan's blood sugar was low.  They didn't bring him in the room to me until about 3AM.  He still had not opened his eyes.  The nurse handed him to me.  The moment I had him in my arms and spoke to him, his eyes immediately opened!! He was just waiting for his mommy! :) 

We were in the hospital for a whole week!  I had complications.  One time I counted 7 different bags of medicines going into my IV.  I had to deal with so much physical pain during that time and for weeks afterwards.  While in the hospital Jonathan was laying in the little bassinet and I saw blood had soaked his blanket and sheet.  I almost ripped my staples out from trying to jump up!  See, my father has Hemophilia B. (bleeding disorder)  I am a carrier and always knew that if I had a boy, there was a chance that he would have it also.  Knowing that, I told the doctors and nurses to be sure to hold pressure on his heels for 30mins after sticking him.  They didn't!  So, this made us all pretty sure that he had hemophilia.  It was confirmed when he was a month old.  I will talk more about Hemophilia and those experiences in other blog posts.

Finally, after a week in the hospital, I was well enough for us to leave the hospital.  I was still in rough shape.  I had so many emotions.  My mom couldn't take anymore days off of work, I needed someone to take us home.   My dad was having a bad day and had to be taken to the ER.  My paternal grandmother was stuck with the job of picking us up and taking us home.  I was still in such a mess, I could barely change Jonathan's diaper.  I couldn't change his clothes.  I tried.  I cried.  I was so upset.  Here came the flood of emotions again about doing it by myself.  Why didn't I have any help?  Many other emotional questions.  One of the nurses put him in his outfit for me and they took his picture.  I was already in a wheelchair, waiting on my grandmother to get there.  She had to pick up my dad and drop him off at the ER when they got there.  Well, they forgot to stop and get the car seat!  She had to go back and get it! Bless her heart!  While sitting there my legs began to swell from all the fluid on my body.  I couldn't even feel my feet!  Finally, she got back and we headed to my house.  It was quite the ordeal, but I was so glad to finally be home w/my baby boy!! 

So, this turned out to be a pretty long blog.  Maybe I just needed to talk about it.  This was only the beginning of my 7 years as a single mother. There are many areas I didn't cover.  One, what about Jon's father?  Well, Jon didn't meet him till he was 8yrs old.  You will just have to wait to read more about that and all the things that have happened since then.  I will tell many more stories about that time period.  I must say this.  I'm so thankful that God brought Michael into our life!! I'm no longer a single mother.  I'm thankful for the bond that Jonathan and I have.  It is such a very strong bond.  Mothers and sons already have a special bond.  Being a single mother and the fact that he has hemophilia made that bond even stronger.  He's a tough guy!  We've been through a lot together!  I pray that God raises him up to be a mighty force for His Kingdom!  I pray he will always let the light of Jesus shine through him to everyone!  He needs a man in his life on a regular basis and i'm thankful that God gave Michael to both of us.  He and Michael have formed a bond.  I love watching those two play video games together.  All the simple things are so sweet!  Michael made Jon chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast this morning for his birthday!

Thanks for reading!

Much Love,
Audrea :)

                                                     My precious baby! :)

A Little Bit About Where I'm From

 
Today at church I saw someone get up.  One thing they said hit home with me.   He said, " I felt I could never be used in leadership because of my past."  I know that is me also.  My past is the Monster that always looms in my face,taunting me,"You can't be God's child because of this. "  My life was a story of tragedy, pain, misguided paths, shame, and loneliness.  I never fit in.  The kid some of you felt pity for, and some of you joined in so that you wouldn't be singled out too, some of you took pleasure in hurting, was a kid whose problems other than school were far worse.
 
You see the doors of sexuality were open at far too young an age for me to deal with.  I was 1st molested at the age of 4.  I loved playing outside.  The only problem was I wasn't prepared for what would happen.  I don't believe America was prepared either.  The Sexual Revolution brought on the worst kind of debauchery to our country and we are still reaping from it.  Some teenagers in the neighborhood were molesting us unprotected 4 year olds.  Who knows what happened to those teenagers that poisoned their minds.  They were molesting the little boy whose grandma lived next door to me.  Jeff , also 4, gave them, me.  Who knows what his reason was, but for nearly a year on many occasions I was molested.  My only way of paying the way out was to steal packs of cigarettes from my father.  This would usually buy them off for a week.  So not wanting to be raped I became a pretty good thief.
 
I tried to tell my parents about what was going on, but you may have heard the cliches, "Children are to be seen and not to be heard."  That is how it was.  Your parents forced you to play outside and get used to entertaining yourself.   Busy with phone calls, or chores, parents didn't have a lot of time with their kids in my generation.  Lions will circle a herd for a long time to find the unprotected or weaker prey. They cant take on a healthy one without risking serious injury, which means death for them in the wild.
The search for the meek one. That was me. It began at 4 but different people and different predators hurt me til I was almost an adult. Predators have even slipped me GHB or something like it that paralyzed me.
 
This Trauma effected my choices throughout my entire life.  I was scared to be alone.  Family problems, some mine, caused me to be an orphan and I tried so desperately to belong to some form of a family or group only to always see everything crumble before my eyes.  I was prone to very post traumatic stress disorder like reflexes.  I used to spin around squirrely into defensive postures ready to fight or run, I had terrible nightmares, couldn't sleep, or I woke up fighting.  I had learned to cuss and rant and rave from the best.  I learned drugs could numb pain.
 
I have a record.  I did some of the things I am charged with and some I didn't do.  I deserved way more charges than I have.  Sometimes I think the ones I didn't do are where I am making up for someone getting in trouble for something I did but don't know about.
 
I was meek and that meek boy is still in there. I have built up so many defenses to not let anyone see the meek child inside that couldn't defend himself.  I learned to be a comedian.  Keep them laughing and guessing.  I learned to develop a fake toughness.  Look like steel and iron, nothing can hurt you.  All these crazy coping mechanisms to protect myself.  I am praying for God to open and heal me from these.  Remember me in your prayers.
 
Give us victory, Jesus!
                                    Michael

Selfishness

  I said I was going to write a blog yesterday on my facebook. Guess what! I didn't follow through.  Audrea's leg is slowly but surely recovering.  She tries to get up and do things even tho I don't want her to.  She just ends up in a mess.  So, after doing a few chores, I just wanted to rest. Rest is so important in life. Most days I cheat myself out of rest or my job does it for me. We ordered pizza last night. I didn't even want to cook, or wash a dish.

     Today, I accomplished a lot. I changed our oil, oil filter, air filter, and I checked fluids in the car. I am finishing a load of laundry. I have cooked lunch for my family. I have prepared dinner. Also, I was able to run a few errands and salt the walkway to prepare for the snow storm.

     Originally, what I wanted to talk about was me. How hypocritical I can be at times. How selfish I am at times. How sometimes no one is more important to me then me.  I see and know how disgusting it looks. It is very unattractive. We all do it. I know. I see everyone at their worst. I say this because I serve at a restaurant. I see people walk in demanding that I pay attention to them and only them. Even if they came with 35 other people, all separate checks.

     I bring up my selfishness, because I was reminded of how sick we were when waiting on a party of Tennessee legislaters. I was expecting at least a show of fake dignity, and values. That is not what I got. What I witnessed was a bunch of selfish, hypocrites. Most had puffed chests, feathers, and were as rude as geese are to each other when someone comes to feed them at the park. I asked a few who they were, and where they represented. None of them even asked a question of me. They barked orders like I was some kind of slave. I laughed at their ignorance, recognizing they need prayer. Half drank alcohol.  I don't have a issue with their drinking or the amount they drank. They seemed a little reserved in that area. The ones who didn't, some of them were the rudest. None impressed me. They were Republicans, though I don't think any democrats would have impressed me much either.
    
     I was ready to judge these legislators and write them off.  That's when it occurred to me. How often do I act in some way that seems beneficial to the Gospel?  That's where I found forgiveness for them. Realizing that God has and does forgive me much as flawed as I am. That's when I saw I could choose to get mad and write the government off as bunch of Fat Cows or pray that they would see the light and turn from their wicked ways. It is amazing how much the brain processes in such a small window of time. All this went through my head in about 5 minutes and I just wanted to share it.
    
     Pray for our leaders,
                                  Michael

Audrea's 1st Post!

The hardest part of this first post is knowing where to start.  I guess I will start with telling you a little about myself.  I'm 30 yrs old (yes, Michael's 10 yrs older! HAHA).  I'm a stay at home wife of Michael, and mom to Jonathan .  I'm from Alexander City,AL.  We moved to Nashville,TN in June 2009.  I LOVE it here!!  :)  I'm a Christ follower.  I LOVE all the awesome Christian music we have these days.  You will most likely see videos on a lot of my posts.  Recently we started the ministry that Michael mentioned.  It's a non profit called Love Feeds.  You will hear more about it in future posts.  Feel free to go to http://www.lovefeeds.org/ if you'd like to know more about it now. :)

What will my part of the blog be about you ask?? Well,it will be about many things.  Whatever God lays on my heart for that particular day.  You will hear some about my childhood, my time as a single mother and all the struggles that went along with it, my life now, and the hopes for the future.  I started to call this blog Broken Together, but it wasn't available. So, it came to mind, Mending Together.  God is mending us together and that is more important than all the brokeness we've both experienced.  He wants us to tell about the things we've been through and show how He heals and mends.  He wants to use it to show other broken people that He can heal and mend them.  No matter how broken your life may seem, it's NEVER too broken for God to mend it!! God will use us in many ways, for His Glory!  He is a mender of broken hearts and lives.  We will also talk about the mistakes we've made and how the grace of God covers them all with the blood of Jesus!  No sin is too great that He can't forgive and the blood of Jesus can't cover! 

So,here's a video for my first post.  It's a video about being more than all the mistakes and things in your life.  You are MORE thanks to Jesus!!

Michael's 1st Post!

I think introductions are needed to begin any kind of relationship.  Should you choose to continue your journey in getting to know my wife and I,you will begin and end in truth.

I am no one you would notice or who would stand out in a crowd unless effort puts a twinkle in your eye.  I am a server.  I work at an upscale pizza place.  I am 40 yrs old.  You would notice though that I work hard.  I do still spend a good bit of time horseplaying with the "kids" at work.  I didn't have a healthy childhood and now I have a little "Peter Pan" syndrome.  However,when you ask me to get something done,it's finished!  I have managed many times in different places and found I am very good at that,too.  I like to be honest.  Most of the time I pull it off with gentleness and kindness.  However,a donkey lurks inside of me and sometimes I make one of myself! (my wife would agree! lol)  I have learned to be quick to give a sincere apology and quick to forgive as well.  The forgiving part can be the hardest since I am prone to sulk while thinking about it.  Sometimes a drive and a radio broadcast of preaching or a song is what it takes to stir my senses.

The most important parts of my life are God, my wife, son, and our family.  God has changed who my family is.  My family is all my brothers and sisters in Christ.  My wife and son have also changed this.  Until April 3,2008 (our anniversary),my life was a series of tragic events.  The words "you can't do anything right", "No one will ever love you", "you'll never amount to anything!", "you should've never been born", "you're not a member of this family", and "leave,leave,leave!".  I'm not going to say I was a perfect child, I wasn't.  I did things.  I lied a lot.  I was always caught in it.  This is something my mother taught me as a defense mechanism for a tyranical father and husband. 

Audrea brought me a family!  For the first time I believe I am beginning to really know what it's like to belong, to be truely loved.  One thing love does is make contact with you and doesn't hurt.  Audrea's family accepted me and loved me as their own, the way God loves us.  The family of God is growing and my perception of who God's family is, is growing also.  God always has something for us.  He has a plan. 

God has given me a heart for the outcasts of this world.  For the child or adult who has suffered physcial, verbal, or sexual abuse, rape or molestation.  Those are things my heart cries out against.  I want to help.  When I see homeless or those suffering from substance abuse, my heart cries out.  Children sold into sex slavery, my heart cries out.  People living without basic needs,  my heart cries out.  My wife and I have formed a ministry that we hope the rest of our lives,and beyond, strives to meet the needs of these people I just mentioned.  We want to demonstrate the love of Jesus to them.

I have certainly learned that I am a broken vessel.  God is mending me and Audrea.  We are beginning to do this together.  That's what this blog will focus on, mending together.  We both have our flaws and both have been shattered, but God is a mender.  When He fixes you,  you perform just as you should.

Michael