12:29AM March 11,2001

My life changed forever at 12:29AM, March 11,2001!!  That is when my son, Jonathan, was born.  Jonathan means "Gift of God".  He truely is a gift of God!! I am so blessed to have him as my son.  Words could never express how thankful I am that God chose me to be Jonathan's mother. 
I mentioned in my first blog that one of the things I will blog about is my 7yrs as a single mom.  So, today I will give a glimpse into my life at that time.  I will do my best not to disrespect his biological father.  The past is the past and I have forgiven him.  I write this simple to help you all know about my life experiences.  My hope is to help someone else that may be in the same/similar situation.

Jonathan's father and I had a long distance relationship.  I got pregnant on one of my trips to visit him.  That was the last visit!  After terrible miscommunications from both of us, the relationship ended.  He was upset about me being pregnant.  He had fears and all kinds of emotions that lead him to make bad decisions.  I tried to keep open communication with him about what was going on w/my pregnancy even though I was heartbroken.  I didn't want to be a single mother.  I felt very condemned and that added to the pain I was feeling.  Jesus forgives, people condemn!  I never felt like my son was a mistake.  No child is born that God has not ordained to be born.  He makes ALL things work together for our good, even when we stray.  During my pregnancy things seemed to get a little better between the father and I.  At that point, I still had hopes of it all working out between us. 

During my pregnancy, my health was up and down.  I went into early labor at 33 weeks.  The doctor put me on bed rest.  Do you know how hard bed rest is for a single pregnant lady??  No?  Well it was very hard!!  My mom helped me out as much as possible.  All of this caused even more emotions for me.   To make matters worse, my maternal grandfather passed away a few days after I was put on bed rest!  Thankfully, I didn't go into labor again until I was at 38 weeks (2 wks early was ok!).  I was in labor for 24 1/2 hours.  Only 12 hours of that was w/o anything for pain.  My parents and sisters were there.  Other family member and friends would pop in.  Every time I would have a contraction and show any sign of pain, my mom would ask if I wanted her to hold my hand.  I told her no thanks, I'm okay.  The pain did hurt, but I was so determined to handle it myself!  I've always been so independent like that, but a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was in labor and the one who helped me get that way, wasn't there.  I ended up having a C-Section and Jonathan was born at 12:29AM.  My mom was in the operating room with me and I let her hold my hand then!  Plus, my hands were strapped so, it's not like I could stop her! HAHA! ;)  The doctor held Jon up for me to see him.  Then, my mom carried him to the nursery.  I had tears of joy!  Wow! That is my baby!! I'm a mommy!! What an amazing feeling!!  They took me took a room.  I had been awake and through so much in over 24 hrs, but I was not going to sleep yet!! I was not about to go to sleep until I could hold my baby and touch him, kiss him!!  Jonathan's blood sugar was low.  They didn't bring him in the room to me until about 3AM.  He still had not opened his eyes.  The nurse handed him to me.  The moment I had him in my arms and spoke to him, his eyes immediately opened!! He was just waiting for his mommy! :) 

We were in the hospital for a whole week!  I had complications.  One time I counted 7 different bags of medicines going into my IV.  I had to deal with so much physical pain during that time and for weeks afterwards.  While in the hospital Jonathan was laying in the little bassinet and I saw blood had soaked his blanket and sheet.  I almost ripped my staples out from trying to jump up!  See, my father has Hemophilia B. (bleeding disorder)  I am a carrier and always knew that if I had a boy, there was a chance that he would have it also.  Knowing that, I told the doctors and nurses to be sure to hold pressure on his heels for 30mins after sticking him.  They didn't!  So, this made us all pretty sure that he had hemophilia.  It was confirmed when he was a month old.  I will talk more about Hemophilia and those experiences in other blog posts.

Finally, after a week in the hospital, I was well enough for us to leave the hospital.  I was still in rough shape.  I had so many emotions.  My mom couldn't take anymore days off of work, I needed someone to take us home.   My dad was having a bad day and had to be taken to the ER.  My paternal grandmother was stuck with the job of picking us up and taking us home.  I was still in such a mess, I could barely change Jonathan's diaper.  I couldn't change his clothes.  I tried.  I cried.  I was so upset.  Here came the flood of emotions again about doing it by myself.  Why didn't I have any help?  Many other emotional questions.  One of the nurses put him in his outfit for me and they took his picture.  I was already in a wheelchair, waiting on my grandmother to get there.  She had to pick up my dad and drop him off at the ER when they got there.  Well, they forgot to stop and get the car seat!  She had to go back and get it! Bless her heart!  While sitting there my legs began to swell from all the fluid on my body.  I couldn't even feel my feet!  Finally, she got back and we headed to my house.  It was quite the ordeal, but I was so glad to finally be home w/my baby boy!! 

So, this turned out to be a pretty long blog.  Maybe I just needed to talk about it.  This was only the beginning of my 7 years as a single mother. There are many areas I didn't cover.  One, what about Jon's father?  Well, Jon didn't meet him till he was 8yrs old.  You will just have to wait to read more about that and all the things that have happened since then.  I will tell many more stories about that time period.  I must say this.  I'm so thankful that God brought Michael into our life!! I'm no longer a single mother.  I'm thankful for the bond that Jonathan and I have.  It is such a very strong bond.  Mothers and sons already have a special bond.  Being a single mother and the fact that he has hemophilia made that bond even stronger.  He's a tough guy!  We've been through a lot together!  I pray that God raises him up to be a mighty force for His Kingdom!  I pray he will always let the light of Jesus shine through him to everyone!  He needs a man in his life on a regular basis and i'm thankful that God gave Michael to both of us.  He and Michael have formed a bond.  I love watching those two play video games together.  All the simple things are so sweet!  Michael made Jon chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast this morning for his birthday!

Thanks for reading!

Much Love,
Audrea :)

                                                     My precious baby! :)